torsdag den 18. november 2010

Monday 18/01-2010 01:05 AM

(As the title says, this is and old note that I wrote on facebook a while back. I just read it again recently and thought it was good, so now I'm sharing it with you guys to! Hope you enjoy!)

Monday 18/01-2010 01:05 AM

Sometimes something comes along and hits you... I've just been hit like that... And now I feel like talking with someone about it, but it's night, and everyone is asleep. Then what do I do? I log on to facebook, how pathetic is that...? And please assure me that this is not what the future will bring. That we will sit in our own personal boble and write, skype, or chat with people all over the world in realtime and HD, but missing feelings, compassion and passion for one another... Of course this is a worst case scenario, and we choose our own world. I just hope that there are people out there that want the same kind of place that I'm trying to see. A place where people talk to each other, and aren't so afraid of sharing. Cause basically isn't that what we are afraid of? Afraid of sharing our food, cause what if I get your germs. Afraid of sharing our worst fears, cause what if you'll just laugh. And don't get me wrong, I'm afraid to, I could just post my worst fear here and start if of, but am I brave enough?
My worst fear is to get cancer. To go through all that treatment and days in the hospital, having your world on pause because now your sick. People looking at me differently cause now I'm a 'victim', a 'patient'. And by being afraid of it, I'm afraid that I might pull it in to my vessel which is making me even more paranoid.
Don't know why I fear it and I think that's a common thing with fear, it's all rational, we don't really have a reason for most of our fears. cause what are the odds. I don't think how big the odds matter, it's just the fact that there are odds... But then again, you can't live by the odds. Life is risk, and that is what's so beautiful about it... Wow, what a cliché!
I just felt like sharing some thought and fears... Thank you.

søndag den 31. oktober 2010

"I say stop being perfect..." and The National Film Actors Academy of Denmark

As I've said before, I write when I feel like it. That's why I'm writing now, and why I haven't been writing for a long time.
Some of you know that I am away from home attending what we, in Denmark, call a 'folk high school' (højskole). Which sounds really boring when translated, but it's a really fantastic idea. The idea is that you attend this kind of school for a couple of months and here you can submerge yourself in all kinds of different subjects (depending on the school). What I choose, is of course a school which focuses on 'acting for film'. We are now halfway through our three months, which is how long the course is. And now here comes the part that I really wanna tell you about:

The course which I'm taking is a kind of preparation for 'The National Film Actors Academy of Denmark'. Wow, such a grand name when translated! So now, halfway through the course, we have a workshop with Kenneth Carmohn, who started the Academy. This workshop just started today. We started out, talking about reaching your goal, and being healthy in body and mind and so on... We haven't really done any acting yet, not that it matters, course I'm intriged by the other things as well, but we did this exercise where all we had to do was to sit on front of everybody, look into their eyes, and breathe, and hold our breaths when told to, and just stay in ourselves. So, when I got up there, I did this, and Kenneth didn't even get to the 'hold your breath' part untill he stopped, and had two girls sit on the floor on each side of me and caress my arms and thigh. I started again, and this time I did the exercise with the 'hold your breath' part untill he stopped it again and told the two girls to stand beside me, caress my arms/shoulder and take turns to kiss me on my cheeks. I did the exercise again untill Kenneth said thank you and told the girls that they could have a seat. He then asked the class for what they saw, someone said that it looked as if it was easier for me to relax, with the girls there, and I felt that too, and then Kenneth said that I had a certain vulnerability, that I didn't allow myself to show, and that the Lucas that I see is not the Lucas I am. And I felt what he said was true, cause I could feel the sincere kisses on my cheeks, but I was too focused on my breathing that I didn't let it in, I didn't let it hit me. He told me that he would have an eye out for me the following days when we did exercises, so I could work on being me, showing me, and feeling me. The fact that he said that made me really reliefed, cause I apparently need some help in this area. It really hit me what he said, and I came to think about if it's just up here, or if it's in my life back home too. Cause the weekend when Anna visited, I really felt home in my body again, she really grounded me, and I could REALLY relax.

Later that same day, I made a realization, which was the following; when we're doing a exercize in class, and it's my turn to get on the floor, and this concerns pretty much every exercise, my goal, and what I hope to hear the teacher say is something like "Wow Lucas, that was perfection, I got nothing to say, you hit the spot..." and after realizing that was my goal, I can now let that go. Cause that day will never come, there will always be something to work with, and I could imagine how frustrated I would get if that really happened, flattered, of course, but then frustrated, cause there's always something.
The rest of the time with Kenneth on the workshop was really giving, and just made me realize how good it would be for me to be accepted in to the academy!

The rest of the workshop went really well, I really enjoy the company of Kenneth and his assistant Jesper, two great guys! And I really felt that I progressed in getting to know me. And it was so inspirering to see everybody in the class really work hard and getting somewhere where they weren't afraid of being themselves. I'm really proud of all my classmates!

I dont' really know what else to write, so I'll stop right here... Thanks for listening!

"Hey, what can I do... It's reality!"
Lucas Alexander

onsdag den 4. august 2010

Shouting in Poland

As some of you know, I came home from Poland some days ago. I attended a course called ’Your Dramatic Voice’.

Well, let’s begin at the beginning;
I had a quiet comfortable flight to Poland, (slept all the way) it’s about an hour by plane from Copenhagen. From the airport I had to go by bus, change to a metro, change to another metro, and then by bus again, and then I would get picked up. Problem was; the last bus never arrived, sat around for two hours, untill Inge, who held the course sent, me a text asking how far I was. When I explained my predicament to her, she told me that two of the girls who too was attending the course, was arriving at the airport in two hours, and that they took a cab the whole way, so why didn’t I go with them? I was quick to decide that that was a great idea. So I rushed back to the airport at met with the girls, got in the cab, and two and a half hours later we arrived at our destination, exhausted... Now it was half past eleven pm., so we shook hands with the rest of the attendies, (we were seven) Inge husband and Inge, grabbed some goodnight food and went to bed.

The following morning we started by saying what we personaly wanted to get better at, I wanted to ’find’ my voice, get the right support for it, and explore the possibilitys that lay in my voice. Other than that, I’ve noticed that when I’m doing work in front of a camera I’m acting ’to the camera’, which I hate. So I wanted to get better at that to.
So we picked various text, songs, or poems, whatever we wanted to work on. A had brung two text, chose neither. Instead I chose a Shakespeare monologue that I’d worked on with Scott, our Shakespeare teacher at New York Film Academy, it’s a part from ’King John’ the character is ’Lewis’ or ’Louis’. Really glad I chose that one.
The whole week we learned different ways to get your voice warm, and worked with different voice quality’s, the bear, the loving hero, and so on.
While we were doing this we were still working on our texts, did it in front of each other and got comments on what was working and what wasn’t, what we had to work on, and suggestions on ways to go with it, really interresting. It was hard work, and some days I just felt like watching tv all day, but I worked harder. Then the day before last, after a lot of rehearsing my monologue, we filmed it. And because I had worked so intensly with it, and were focused on my partner, I forgot the camera, which felt really good, knowing now what to do to make the camera go away. Can’t wait to see it!
The last day was up, and I had told the others how much I was afraid of singing, but had said that I wanted to conquer my fear and sing. So by telling the others this, there was no way back, now I had to sing, cause I know my mind well enough to know that it’ll try to trick it’s way out of something horrible. The good thing was that I wasn’t the only one who felt this way about singing, and I felt really confident in the group. So I chose to sing ’Fly Me to the Moon’ by old blue eyes. It wasn’t that long, and I pretty much knew the lyrics. When I got up there, I was nervous, but it went okay. When I was done, they told me to try and dance while I was singing to get it into the body more, and that way relax more. I did that, and it worked like a charm. It felt so good slaying my old enemy, my old fear of singing. I think I sang it four times, one of the times I even tried to hit a high note, but failed big time, and didn’t even feel bad, I just thought; ”well, at least I gave it a shot”. It was the best thing that happened to me in that week. It felt so good.
So thanks Inge for a great course!

When I got back home it was time to move in to my new room. As most of you know, I’ve been living in my friends living room for the last nine-ten months, and now Henrik got enough of it, he’s moving in with his girlfriend, so I get his room. So wonderful to finally get a room to unpack in to! So when I got home from Poland I had one day to move my stuff from the living room and to Henriks room, assemble all of my furniture, and move my stuff from boxes to shelfs. And I love to unpack and decorate my place with poster and pictures. Unfortunatly I only had one day to do it in, so far, cause then I had to go to work on the boat, which is where I am now, and will be the next 12 days. Just can’t wait to come home to my new room!

That was all for now, a bit different post than what you’re used to, right?

Hope you’ve enjoyed!

All the best,
Lucas Alexander

tirsdag den 25. maj 2010

Prepare, prepare, prepare... and Lennart

I am SO pissed at myself. I just finished a course in 'Speak' the kind you do when you do radio commercials, or an audiobook. And in my opinion I didn't prepare myself enough for the last session we had, we went to a studio and recorded different stuff that we had prepared, and I just didn't feel like I've prepared enough. And it's not the first time I feel that way. When I'm sitting at home and should be preparing, I always postpone it. I did the same thing when I was doing the course in L.A.. We had 'Shakespear class' and was suppose to prepare for it, know the lines you know, and I came in and hadn't prepared for it enough. So we took from where it was, from me not knowing the lines, and that was ok. But I could just really feel that the fact that I didn't know the lines held me back, cause I couldn't get into the text properly, cause I all the time had to see what the next line was. And after that I promised myself that I would never do that again, that I would always come prepared, and then today I didn't come prepared.
And it's not that I didn't get anything out of this course, I really did and I'm sure I can use the disc we made today too, but I just know it would have been so much better if I prepare more...!

There is something that I wanted to share with you, but just haven't... I was involved in this 'Reading'. The concept was pretty simple, there had been a course in script writing, and as a wrap of the course they asked some actors to act out some of their texts. Kind of down to earth, we were allowed to hold the scripts, but it was still with an audience. A really REALLY interesting thing to be involved in.
There were especially this one part of a script (for most parts we were handed parts of scripts and not full scripts, cause we only had a short preparation) that I really like. It was between my character who was a grandfather to this young girl, played by my partner of course, and there were so much said between the lines, it was really interesting to do. And I really felt like I got this old guy, Lennart, was his name, under my skin. It was so amazing to get that sensation! Unfortunately I was so focused on my partner and that she had to remember to give me time to act, to show this guy and his silences. That I, at one point got lost in the piece, and stole one of her lines, which screwed up the beat a bit in the scene, nothing I thing the audience realized, but when it's there, it's such a shame, cause it should have been spotless. I learned a big lesson there, which was; focus on yourself! And then listen to your partner!

It's a bit funny with these old guys, cause it's not the first time I've done an old character whom I've really felt connected to, and who got under my skin. Don't know what it is, but I really like playing them!

Godspeed Grandpa, you are in our hearts!

My thoughts to you and yours,

Lucas Alexander

mandag den 24. maj 2010

Mr. Mayer in the Night

Finally I got my hands on the dvd 'Any Given Thursday'. Which is, for you who don't know it, a John Mayer live dvd. And I just watched the interview on the disc, it was really short, but he simply touchest something in me. He's so straight forward, and so pure, he knows what he's talking about, and really feel the songs which he's playing. And he goes where ever his mind takes him, do you know what I mean. He gets an impulse, and without thinking about it goes for it. Something which Meisner talkes alot about too (I'm reading Mesiner's 'On acting' at the moment).
I'm going to watch John Mayer live in concert soon here in Denmark, can't wait now, after seing that interview! I just still hope he's at a healthy place in his music and life.

I'm still up, even though I should be in bed, but do you know the nights where you just feel inspired? So I guess I'll do something creative with my hands, while I'm listening to John Mayer, and forget about the time and that it's late... Cause, you know; time doesn't exist, clocks does, but not time. It's a question of preference... Do you prefer it to be dark out, or light?

Tonight I like it dark... See you in the darkness!

All the best to you and yours

Lucas Alexander

lørdag den 15. maj 2010

Feel and consuming 'fake joy'

I feel like I don't know myself anymore, what happened to that guy who was up and out and doing stuff? I feel like all my inspiration is gone, and I don't know what to do to regain it... I still feel like there's something that I'm missing, that I can't see. I basically feel pathetic, and it's like I don't even care, which is terrifying. Cause I know I'm not suppose to feel like that, and I know that it is me who holds the power to get going, I just don't know where to focus, or what tools to use.
I wanna find inspiration, wanna travel, go surfing. Can't wait to put a sign on my door which reads 'Gone Surfing'!
After I write this, I'm gonna do some push-ups, and sit-ups, then go shave, then hit the shower, and then take a long walk to clear my mind. I wish I lived near the ocean, then I would walk to the ocean, and gaze out beyond the horizon, listen to the waves crashing in.

Today I went down to buy a pizza, and while I was at it, I might as well buy some soda. My plan was to stay in and watch a film, so why not buy some candy too... I did buy all that, ate the pizza, drank half the soda and decided that was enough, I didn't need that, it's just propelling my self-pity even more, so I ate some of the candy untill I thought about why I was doing it, and then I spat out the two pieces, that was in my mouth, and the rest of the bag in the bin. Actually that was a little victory for me. Cause I can have a good time without candy and soda, I don't need that 'fake joy'!

Why do I keep forgetting how important it is for me to write... Now I already feel better just by writing this.

I keep my right to post short blogspost... ;)

All the best,
Lucas Alexander

torsdag den 8. april 2010

Sidney Lee, bottles, and the monster inside of me

So, have had a bit of a long day already, but a good one!

It all started when I slammed the door with my keys inside. You know the kind when you realize that your keys are inside before the door is closed but you have no time to send the thought to your arm to stop it closing the door. Luckily my roommate slept at his girlfriends place and it's not far away. So it just resulted in a bit of stressfull morning. I managed though.

An old college had asked me to help them out with an exams project they're doing, he's studying 'Film and Media'. So I had the day of to do that. The deal was for me to play a danish guy called 'Sidney Lee' who's a kind of phenomenon in little Denmark, he's famous for being famous... I know, doesn't make sense, let me just say that I'm glad I don't own a television. Back on track; the project was a 'fictional dummy' for a television show, kind of a make-over show. It was great fun and we just improvised a lot, which went really well.

After that I had a few errands that I had to run. Can't remember if I mentioned this, but my brother and a friend of ours and me, are making this fight scene this saturday. Not for anything particular, just because we thought it would be funny to try... So the errands included picking up fake blood (the kind you can have internal too) and fetching 'stunt bottles' to break on each others heads. And just to invest in these objects made me really thrilled, it feels good to just do what you want and post some money in it to make it look cool. So I'm really psyched to this coming saturday when we're shooting it!
My brother and I shot a little bit of 'storyboard', just to get an idea of what we're doing and some feeling of where we're headed!

Tomorrow I'm going to the premiere for a film I did with some of my old colleges. It's showing in the biggest cinema in Scandinavia. It's the cinema where I used to work, and the colleges are from that job, so that's why we can show it there, but it's gonna be really cool, I think with champagne and all that jazz... I already saw it, and I'm satisfied with the result, looking forward to hear what people think, and I invited over a dozen people, so that's making me a bit nervous.
I think it's the first film I did where I really researched the character, and I'm playing a monster, so t was a really interesting research. I went out in the woods in the middle of the night, armed only with a flashlight, looking for this monster. And I must say that even though my logical sense tells me that nothing is going to happen, the worst thing I could run into is a guy walking his Shih Tzu, then I had this really ancient fear in my stomach, quess it originated way back when we lived in the woods and actually could get slaughtered and eaten by a sabertooth tiger. But I tried to really analyze this fear and instead of being afraid, then simply become the fear, and become the creature that the forest should fear.
It was a really interesting process, and some days after that my girlfriend asked me why I did this when it was just a very little production. I thought about this, cause I could see her point, but got to this conclusin: First of all, it's so much fun when you really work for it, and especially with a role like this. Second, if I didn't research and really put an effort in this production, how would I know when to do so... You get my drift? If I really want this, I have to be the best at my game, even if people doesn't see it. Cause if I faked it till I made it, I don't think I would make it. Cause acting is not acting, it's about being true in fictional circumstances, and being there mentally and psychically. Like Sanford Meisner said; "Acting is the ability to live truthfully under imaginary circumstances." (When I get a cat, he'll be named Meisner...) To recap; I really thank my girlfriend for asking me that question, cause it made me realize all this...!

Wow, I'm so glad to be able to share all this, and thank you for listening!

All the best to you and yours,
Lucas Alexander

Bonus: Another video I made, basically from various clips recorded on my iPhone. I think, if you don't know me, you'll get a pretty good image of who 'me' is... It's called 'Egg on bread with avocado'. Enjoi!